And Just Like That, Sex and the City Taught Me Some Things About Sex and Relationships

Sex and the City is an incredibly nostalgic programme for me. Despite only being twenty-two years old and not even being alive when the show started, my Mum was obsessed with it when I was little. I remember looking at the bookcase we had in the hallway and seeing her abundance of books about the programme - whether it be about the fashion, the behind-the-scenes, or the novel which inspired the show. After becoming a bit older, my Mum allowed me to watch the censored version. One of the channels we had would show SATC during the day, before the watershed but, would swiftly skip past any swear words, sex, or even any mention of sex. This version I remembered watching may as well have been called and the City. However, when I got to my late teens, I decided to watch SATC in all its glory. One of the most iconic shows of the late nineties and early-2000s did not disappoint. 

I cannot deny that a few (well, many) aspects of the show are outdated. Whether this is the discussion topics amongst Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha at brunch or, the lack of inclusivity throughout the show; a few episodes are definitely questionable. However, And Just Like That, the revival of the infamous series, was not shy of creating an incredibly inclusive character dynamic and storyline throughout the episodes. SATC however, throughout its six years of being on the air, does have some important and interesting learning points to take away from it regarding love, relationships, intimacy, and of course - sex. 

As a young woman, these are the things I have learned and taken away from the programme:

Friendships Can Be Even More Important and Loving than Relationships

The storylines shown throughout SATC all circulate around the friendships of Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha. Their friendship is something I have always dreamt about having - to chat with your girlfriends in a cute NYC café about love and sex is something I aspire to have one day. Like in real life, the value of their friendship is tested through the multiple relationships, heartbreaks, and disagreements they have. However, as we see in the final episode, the friendship is still as solid as ever before. One of the most poignant moments is towards the end of the series when Samantha finds out she has breast cancer. Her best friends are there for her no matter what and this is something which makes the programme incredibly special and memorable for me. When we get into relationships, many of us can admit we get clouded by love and desire for this person; meaning we forget our existing friendships. It is crucial never to forget who was by your side before your relationships as they will always be there, as demonstrated in SATC.

Sex Toys Are Friends Not Foes in the Bedroom 

I think SATC is such an iconic programme because it dispels any myths and taboo topics surrounding sex. Many programmes focusing on the sex lives of women mainly look at much younger women; college girls. However, SATC broke boundaries in the first place by looking at the sex lives of older women and spoke about subjects like menopause, single mothers, divorce and so much more. The topic of sex toys and female pleasure is also spoken about massively; Samantha is the biggest advocate for this (surprise, surprise). For a while, I thought sex toys were perhaps the thing I needed to stay away from. I was worried I would rely heavily on sex toys for pleasure and even in the bedroom. However, SATC showed me that sex toys can honestly lead to some fun and make you feel more in touch with your body. With this being said, perhaps it is important to not go towards them for pleasure all the time. As we see with Charlotte and her intervention needed on “The Rabbit.”

We All Need to Be a Little Bit Like Samantha

This may come across as an unpopular opinion but Carrie is my least favourite character in SATC. I think she can be incredibly dismissive of her friendships and relationships throughout the series. Not to sound harsh but, even though I adore the friendship of the four women, I would get quite sick of Carrie. However, one character I would love as my friend is Samantha. Samantha tells it how it is, gives great sex advice and if you hang out with her - it’s guaranteed a good time. It cannot be denied that Samantha Jones is the most sexually active character in the show and although I’m sure the large majority of us haven’t slept with every bachelor in New York City and some of us aren’t interested in doing that. But, her attitude towards life is something we should all take into account. Maybe if we all acted a bit like Samantha Jones from time to time, life would feel much easier and carefree. 

Sex and the City will always have a special place in my heart. Even though there are some aspects of the show I do not agree with, its presentation of many topics surrounding sex and intimacy made me see things in a different light. The value of female friendship is not only tested by the plethora of hurdles they all encounter but it is also celebrated. I’m sure there will be many shows appearing in the future that will talk about sex in a much more diverse and arguably better way than SATC. However, for the time, it was revolutionary and will always be something I revisit.

Side-note: Carrie should have gotten with Aidan - not Big.