Ticket to Pound Town: 6 Weeks Postpartum and Ready

illustration by Hannah Greene

Sexual intercourse, it’s how babies are made — and while pregnant we are told about all the beauties of pregnancy and birth and what it means to become a parent. For the majority of the pregnancy, the focus is on the health of the baby and mother, but there never seems to be any talk of vaginal and pelvic health. There isn’t a time where your vagina’s history is talked about, and no I don’t mean the part where we answer “yes” or “no” to “have you ever had an STI?” or “is this your first pregnancy?” etc. — I mean the real dirt, “how has birth control affected your pH balance”, “have you ever experienced any trauma to your nether regions'', “do you suffer from PTSD'', “how strong is your pelvic floor…?” These are the questions that we need to prepare us for pregnancy, for birth, and for getting us back on the sex train.

I recently gave birth in March of this year. My pregnancy was not the most fun, nor was my labor, but birth made me feel undefeatable and invincible. I was in labor for three days, my body tense for three days; meaning my vagina, uterus, cervix, the whole shebang was in “go mode” for three days. At the time I didn’t think anything of it. I took the entire process in and welcomed it. Now, as I look back, I can see how this has caused problems, not just in bed but in my day-to-day activities.

There was a constant pain in my pelvic area, felt like a bone had been broken — sleeping was miserable and no matter how many pillows I put between my legs nothing seemed to help. Leaking was the new norm, and not just when you sneezed, but literally right after you peed — I was basically peeing twice even though I thought I had emptied my entire bladder. 

During my six-week postpartum checkup, everything seemed to be nice and dandy, my stitches healed up nicely, the scar was nowhere to be found and I felt confident and ready — to hop on that train… you know the one. I got the “a-okay” and was so excited to come home and have sex with my partner. I was aware that sex would be different, feel different, but I wasn’t ready for what that actually meant. We had a “new” vagina in our midst. I had to have an episiotomy and therefore had a scar and newly healed skin that needed to be treated differently. We got right to business and luckily everything seemed to be working as per ujj. My partner was very understanding and only did what was comfortable, even if that meant going very very slow, like snail slow. The pain was no fun and didn’t subside, new angles had to be found in order to work around the pain, stopping multiple times was a must, and not getting to go wild was the new deal. What used to be sex like rabid animals, was now like sex for the first time, every penetration hurt (right on the scar) and caused me to instantly tense up and therefore cause more pain. I felt horrible and sad, I was scared whenever we had sex that it would hurt and this was not fair to my partner.

I checked in with my midwife again, complaining and questioning why this was going on and if it would stay like this. Little to my knowledge did she have a trick up her sleeve — a pelvic floor therapist (a highly sought after one) — and boy, was I ready for whatever it took. After my very thorough pelvic floor exam I was aware of what was going on down there, instantly felt more confident, and totally more in tune with myself, it was a huge relief. This is where the vagina’s history is so key in the overall healing of yourself and your lady, whether you just gave birth or not. It had turned out that I had scarring near my cervix from multiple IUD’s, my pelvic floor was tenser than muscle cramp, and the new skin from my stitches needed to be massaged — in short, my cunt needed some deep love outside of what my boyfriend was capable of doing (wink). This meant that I needed to do multiple exercises that targeted certain muscles and areas of my pelvic floor, vagina, even my hips — as well as a regular “skin” massage for my scar, which was basically lubricating my fingers and pulling and stretching the skin to help it “regulate”. 

To say these exercises helped is an understatement, the more I do them equals the more sex my partner and I can have, which means the more sex like rabid animals can make a comeback. To say I’m fully healed is a hard no, but getting there. This experience was truly eye-opening. I know how my vagina works, but I never knew how much sisterly love and support our entire vaginal area needs outside of arousal, orgasms, and pleasure. I was made more aware of the lack of information I have about the vagina’s strength and power, and that we often do take it for granted, assuming everything is going to be fine — that leaking is normal or sex hurting is normal for example — but no, that doesn’t have to be the case at all. What’s normal is that the vagina is a hardworking machine that needs its own recovery and spa days too.