Destined but Temporary
When I first started researching the concept of karmic partners, I was surprised to learn that they are the complete opposite of what I’d assumed. Many people hear the term and assume that they are the same as soul mates, when in actuality, they are the complete opposite.
Karmic partners enter our lives with the sole purpose of teaching us a valuable lesson. This lesson is always something that the universe has tried, but failed, to teach you. Time and time again, processing and learning this teaching has always been refused, whether consciously or subconsciously. In many ways, karmic partners represent the ‘boss battle’ of a certain issue, negative behaviour, or pain. Once the lesson has finally been learned, they are removed from your life, either by you, or by other forces. Karmic partners are necessary to force you out of the cycle of making the same terrible mistake. This person can be a friend, a family member, or a romantic partner. You can meet them at any point in your life, and the relationship can be brief or extensive. Some argue that you can have more than one karmic partner, each for a different lesson.
Though they are linked with deep emotional pain, karmic partners are not necessarily bad or toxic people. Instead, they are extremely important, as they act as a catalyst for change— often, absolutely vital change. Once you’ve met and overcome your karmic partner, you never forget them, or the importance of the relationship. Although they are not in my life anymore, I still hold a lot of love in my heart those I consider to be karmic partners! Furthermore, Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist, says that “some people believe that karmic relationships are agreements between two spirits to help the other grow before incarnating on Earth.”
It is also worth keeping in mind that you will, at some point in your life, be someone else’s karmic partner.
I personally find karmic partners fascinating because they represent the enormous value of temporary relationships. Human beings are not creatures that are naturally accepting of change. The expectation of permanency causes a lot of heartache. We tear ourselves apart over things not working out like we imagined, or friendships coming to an end, but people and passions are always in flux. Most social experiences are not built to last a lifetime. By forcing these relationships to be drawn out longer, we put significant amounts of strain on perfectly good friendships or romances that were only meant to be brief. However, this is not to say that every single person you lose contact with is a karmic partner, but rather, the phenomenon of karmic partners emphasises that it is okay to experience things, enjoy them, learn from them, and then let them go. You love, and then you move on. Rinse and repeat.
So how do you know if someone is your karmic partner? It's a difficult question to answer, since every karmic relationship is unique to the people in it. However, there are certain boxes that can be ‘checked off’ when you’re analysing a relationship for karmic connections. It is also important to mentioned that karmic partnerships often have similar traits to abusive ones. If you feel unsafe, threatened, or scared of someone close to you, please reach out for help. There are some links at the end of this article to websites that can help—you are not alone.
One of the main traits of a karmic relationship is the connection that both members feel. You will find yourself intensely drawn to each other, and feel an almost ‘destined’ quality in their presence. The friendship or relationship feels important and has a certain heavy quality to it. When karmic partners meet, they ‘click’ almost immediately, and have intertwined themselves with each other until it borders on codependency and obsession. Once this person arrives in your life, it feels like you could never live without them.
The second most obvious sign of any karmic relationship is that the emotions that come with it are turbulent. There are intense highs and deep lows. People most commonly equate it to a ‘rollercoaster’ of emotions. Karmic partners bring a lot of inner conflict, and you find yourself doubting your decisions because of them. Even when nothing is necessarily wrong, there is a persistent nagging that something isn’t right. The relationship takes a lot of work to maintain at a happy level. Small issues start to feel like earth-shattering dilemmas. You find yourself being told by other friends and loved ones that the situation isn’t healthy, and you should cut things off. This often leads to you defending the individual in question. Despite all of the negative energy, the balance of the karmic partner means that they are a source of laughter, light, and passion. They bring out new sides of you, and introduce things into your life that you wouldn’t have ever encountered otherwise.
So, what happens once you’re in deep with a karmic partner? It is often enormously difficult to end such emotionally intense relationships, but the best advice I have is: it is worth suffering in the short term to be happier in the long term. Though it will hurt, the relationship was always meant to be temporary. Once you learn to value yourself, you will outgrow the karmic partner, and you will always be better for it.