Becoming ‘That Girl’ Isn’t All That
SourceI am certain you have noticed the ‘That Girl’ trend on TikTok, or other social media apps, where people are attempting to present themselves as a certain type of person. ‘That Girl’ is cool, beautiful, organized, and fun. She has an amazing life where she is able to complete every possible task in 24 hours while also having time to do whatever she pleases. She is constantly productive and everything you could possibly want to be. She is the ideal woman. While this could be seen as a positive trend that promotes wellness and productivity, I would like to present another side to it. The problem with ‘That Girl’ is that it is unattainable for most individuals. Most people do not have the time, finances, or resources to become ‘That Girl.’ By this I mean that these types of videos usually illustrate a skinny and beautiful woman in her early twenties. She lives in a wonderful apartment in an exciting city. She has the luxury to wake up early to go to pilates, followed by a ‘meal’ consisting of a green juice. She has her perfect skincare routine which only consists of the best products on the market. And she will spend the rest of her day being productive by working on her laptop, or going for another workout in her matching workout set later on. Somehow, she has time for every single task while also reading self-help books, going shopping, and journaling. While this might sound amazing, it becomes an issue when individuals are influenced to believe that this is the only way to live their lives. If a younger audience catches on to this trend, they might begin to compare their own lives to that of ‘That Girl.’ While there is not anything wrong with sharing your life or routine on social media, other people are easily impacted by what they see, and with the constant pressure it is normal to feel the need to turn into this individual. In a sense, these videos almost become the expectation of how one should behave in order to achieve a good and healthy lifestyle. Does falling into this trend classify as a hope for a wellness improvement or is it simply seeking to improve one’s aesthetic?
I used to have this mindset and it caused my mental and physical health to completely deteriorate. I have spent most of my life attempting to conform to everyone else’s expectations. At one point, I determined my self-worth by internalizing the way other individuals perceived me. I found myself in an evil downwards spiral of adjusting my looks, behavior, and thoughts based on how those around me reacted to my presence. I was hanging onto every word they uttered, remembering each detail of their expression, and adjusting accordingly. I let other people’s perception of me completely alter who I was and how I viewed myself. Honestly, this mindset is immensely draining because you become so consumed by everyone else’s thoughts. The effort of attempting to convey a desired behavior can lead to a complete loss of yourself.
The problem with this trend is when people abandon their own sense of self to become ‘That Girl’. It can lead you down a destructive spiral of perfection, with you constantly striving to be what everyone else wants you to be. For people already struggling with their mental health, trends such as this can be extremely damaging. Some days you might find yourself struggling to get out of bed. Perhaps, you come across these aesthetic videos that can indicate that there is only one way to improve yourself. You push yourself to the point of complete exhaustion, which only makes your health deteriorate even further. Because all of these videos are so similar to one another, it promotes one particular way to practice wellness. To younger girls, it might indicate that in order to be lovable you need to be ‘That Girl.’ . It can consume them to the point of destruction. We need to let them know that it is okay to eat a regular meal that does not simply consist of fruit or juices. Working out for several hours every single day is not a requirement in order to be healthy. They do not need to dedicate their entire day to productivity. This trend indicates that self care and productivity are synonymous when that is not the case at all. It is perfectly okay to have bad days and it is okay to not follow the highlights of another person’s life.
For a majority of people, the ‘That Girl’ life that is being presented is completely unattainable. Even if you are one of the rare individuals able to achieve it, it quickly becomes unsustainable. Overall, it becomes more about appearance than inner wellness. What happens when you achieve the life of ‘That Girl’ but it still fails to bring you satisfaction? You start to become obsessed with how other individuals perceive you and all you want is to fit into this picture perfect aesthetic you created for yourself. You strive for constant perfection, leaving yourself with little room for mistakes. You feel the pressure and it leads you to put on a performance every minute of every day. If you do happen to make a mistake, your entire world appears to shatter. Are you being the best version of you or copying the highlight reel of someone else?
We are constantly surrounded by concepts such as ‘That Girl’ because of how a newly shaped idea of the idealized self comes around every couple of years making these unattainable expectations almost inescapable. There is not a “one size fits all” for how individuals should go about their day. If you live up to the expectations of the typical ‘That Girl’ and it makes you feel good, amazing. If not, perhaps this is not the routine for you. From a young age we are told how to dress appropriately, how to behave, and how to portray ourselves in a way that is favorable to society’s standards. We are essentially taught who we should be in order to succeed. Similarly, the ‘That Girl’ trend is convincing us that there is only one way to succeed, to be beautiful, and to be loved. Perhaps, the trend illustrates that someone is inadequate if one’s life differs from these videos. It is leading us down a path where we consider others’ perception of us as more important than our own perception, or our own true personality. This trend is teaching us that our visual aesthetic is determining our worth.We need to learn how to be enough for ourselves, rather than seeking approval by being considered as enough by everyone else. There is a distinction between promoting healthy habits and promoting destructive perfection. We need to stop chasing happiness by looking into someone else’s life and conforming to their lifestyle. You are beautiful. You are lovable. You are enough.