To Peg or Not to Peg: A Beginner’s Guide to Pegging
Pegging - a tale almost as old as time itself. Believe it or not: Even the Ancient Egyptians were fans of strapping it on and getting down and dirty. Unsurprisingly, the Ancient Greeks were likewise attached to detachable phalli.
As you’ve now learned, our ancestors already knew what was good. It’s only natural that you want to find out what all the rave is about as well!
It’s your lucky day, because you have come to the right place!
Welcome to your beginner’s guide on pegging.
This article will provide you with tips, tricks, and techniques to make this experience as pleasurable as possible for you and your partner.
So… what do you need to know before joining the pegging party?
What Is Pegging?
The term pegging was coined by US sex advice columnist Dan Savage in 2001 and has since been used in mainstream media. Pegging originally referred to a cisgender woman anally penetrating her cis male partner with a strap-on. Since then, the term has, fortunately, become more inclusive:
Today, the defining features of pegging are anal sex and a toy that is used for anal penetration. Gender expression and sexual orientation don’t matter when it comes to making sweet love to a person’s booty. When it comes to pegging, everyone’s anus is more than welcome!
Why Do People Like Pegging?
Simple: People find it hot.
But let’s get more into the nitty-gritty details of what makes it enjoyable for the person doing the pegging and for the person being pegged:
What’s in It for the Pegee?
The pleasure of pegging is two-folded and comes down to a physically/anatomically and emotionally stimulating component.
Anatomically speaking, most penis-having people have a nerve-dense prostate gland that can be accessed through anal penetration. What is the prostate you ask? It’s the walnut-sized gland just below the bladder and in front of the rectum, that is responsible for pushing semen out of the penis.
When a person with a penis is penetrated anally, the prostate receives direct stimulation, which is what makes pegging physically enjoyable.
For better understanding, it helps to compare the vagina and the G-spot to the anus and the prostate. Penetration itself can lead to stimulation that feels good, but ultimately, pleasure comes from giving the prostate attention. If the pegee doesn’t have a prostate, however, anal penetration can still feel good. Since the anal canal and anal entrance have around 4,000 nerve endings.
On a mental level, pegging can invite a shift in the sexual power dynamic two partners usually have, which can be incredibly arousing.
It also embraces the idea that masculinity is not tied to being the penetrator. Especially when we let heterosexual, cisgender men explore pegging. By encouraging the exploration, we’re encouraging them to delve into their sexuality, while supporting their masculinity and strengthening it in healthy ways.
What’s in It for the Pegger?
For the person without a penis, the shift in the power dynamic is often arousing, as well. They are suddenly given the power of penetration, which can be very appealing.
While the act of penetration can be arousing, seeing and feeling a partner experience pleasure can be as equally arousing as being the person causing it.
If partners are working with a dildo attached to a harness, the person without a penis can also experience physical pleasure. The base of the dildo may press up against the pubic mound or clitoris and in combination with moving against the partner can feel similar to dry humping, which is how some people orgasm.
How Do You Bring It Up?
Before you get down to actually doing it, talking about pegging is the first step. You can ask your partner how they feel about anal play/anal sex and if that is something that they have ever done or thought about doing. Finding out whether or not your partner incorporates anal stimulation during masturbation can be helpful as well. Ask them if they would be comfortable being penetrated by you or if they’d be comfortable penetrating you. The key here is to talk about this on a neutral occasion. Don’t bring up the topic before or during sex, as it might make your partner feel pressured.
Now let’s get down to the tips and tricks:
The Two C’s: Consent and Communication
It’s very possible that you’re envisioning this experience completely different than your partner is, which is why it’s so important to talk about your expectations beforehand. It’s especially helpful to settle on a safe word in case it gets too much for one partner.
Working With the Right Equipment: Choose Your Toys
Pegging doesn’t necessarily require a strap-on, but this DOES NOT mean that you can use anything. Please don’t stick phallus-shaped vegetables or other unsafe devices up your bum.
Using a Dildo for Pegging
A dildo is a penetrative sex toy that does not offer motorized simulation.
If you are pegging your partner with a dildo, you may be manually thrusting the toy with your hands, or you may use it as a strap-on. Even if you’re using your hand to move the toy, you’re still pegging your partner.
Using a Vibrator for Pegging
Unlike a dildo, a vibrator provides some other type of motorized stimulation. If your partner wants to be pegged with a vibrator, you should consider the type of stimulation they’re hoping for. Different vibrators offer different kinds of stimulation.
Using a Strap-on for Pegging
The strap-on is widely known for its use in pegging. It consists of a toy and a harness. Consider whether you want to purchase the harness and the toy separately or in combination. Buying the two parts separately allows each partner to choose a toy and a harness they themselves especially like.
Make sure that your toy is made out of medical-grade silicone, which you’ll be able to get completely clean after use.
Size Does Matter: Start Small
Whichever toy you choose: start small and I mean really small, even if it seems too small. Especially if you have never been penetrated anally before. You can always work your way up.
More Is More: Lube Em Up
If you take away anything from this article, let it be this: Your anus DOES NOT lubricate itself.
USE.LUBE. – Lots of it. If you think you’ve added enough lube, use more. Lube is what takes pegging from an irritating, painful mess to a truly pleasurable experience.
Depending on the material of your sex toy, one lube will work great, while the others might actually ruin the toy. Silicone-based lubes aren’t compatible with silicone toys, which is what most dildos are made of, so instead use water-based lube. Water-based lube is also safe to use with condoms, both latex, and non-latex.
P as in Prostate: Locating the Orgasm Powerhouse
If the person being pegged has never experienced anal penetration before, full-on pegging isn't the way to start. If you are the pegee, first experiment with anal play using fingers or a small toy. Try it during masturbation to get used to the sensation, then let your partner try. Easing into anal play gives your anus and rectum time to adjust to penetration, reducing the risk of anal fissures.
It's worth trying to locate the prostate first, to ease both of you into it, and to know what to aim for when inserting a toy.
Once you, the pegger, have inched a lubed-up finger inside, try to feel around roughly a couple of inches inside the rectum towards the belly button. The prostate is a rounded lump that feels a bit like a walnut. Much like the vaginal G-spot, once aroused it swells in size so plenty of foreplay will also help you locate it.
Don’t Forget to Preheat the Oven: Why Foreplay and Especially Anal Massage Are Beneficial
Now that we know where the prostate is, let’s put our knowledge to use. Most anuses need to be eased into being penetrated and an anal massage is a great way of doing so.
Before you even think about putting a toy up your partner's butt, get them and yourself warmed up. Initiate foreplay, however that works best for you. Foreplay is a great way of relaxing each other, especially if it’s the first time for both of you. Relaxing will help you or your partner enjoy and respond to this newfound penetration more easily.
Slow and Steady Wins the Race: Go Slow and I Mean Really Slow
Before you start, get into a position that is comfortable for both of you. In the beginning, it might be best to have the pegee insert the toy themselves to be able to completely control the speed of the toy going in. Again, go slow and get used to the sensation. Once the toy is fully inserted, begin to move slowly.
Mindfulness and Meeting Each Other’s Needs: Be Present
If you are the one doing the penetrating, pay attention to how your partner is reacting to it.
Paying attention and communicating in the moment with your partner will allow you to find a motion they like and to make it enjoyable for them.
However, it’s also important to check in with yourself. Are you enjoying yourself? If not, don’t just continue for your partner’s sake. Your comfort is as crucial as your partner’s. If you are not feeling good, tell your partner.
As amazing as pegging can feel for the pegger and the pegee, it isn’t for everyone. So, if you decide that the experience isn’t for you, that’s totally valid and okay. There are plenty of other ways to be sexually intimate with each other and to give and receive pleasure!
Pegging FAQ
Does Pegging Involve Involuntarily Pooping Myself?
Contrary to popular belief, pegging doesn’t actually make you poop yourself! Because poop isn’t stored in the anal canal, which is what’s being entered during anal sex. It’s stored in the colon. For poop to pass from the colon to the rectum and then to the anal canal, you have to voluntarily contract the muscle that pushes poop out.
Am I Gay if I Like Pegging?
It's 2021 people, who cares? But to answer the question: Sexuality is incredibly complex and just because you are into anal play, does not mean that you are gay. The important thing to remember is there is nothing wrong with you or your partner enjoying pegging. The more you explore the things that turn you on – regardless of how they might be linked to your sexual preferences – the more enjoyable sex becomes. So, let’s just focus on that: pleasure.
Is Anal Sex Safe?
As long as you use LOTS of lube, you prepare your partner for penetration and don’t go completely nuts, and as long as you properly cleanse your toys after, the risks are minimal.
if one or both of you have an STI or don’t know your current status, STI transmission is a risk.