Rejection Makes the Wins Sweeter

Sometimes, rejection feels like a slap in the face. Maybe you spent hours polishing your resume. Maybe you worked hard on the application questions. Maybe you even dressed up for the interview and put some effort into your appearance, even if you were only going to be seen through the grainy lens of your computer. Maybe you waited weeks in bated breath for a response. 

I, like many other freelance writers, have experienced my fair share of rejections. Whether it be from magazines emailing back to say my writing doesn’t fit their caliber, or fellowships writing back after a month to say I haven’t qualified for their highly competitive applicant field, the words “unfortunately, we will not be able to offer you a position” never fail to make my heart drop to the floor. 

They say rejection makes for thicker skin. Apparently, “they” never experienced rejection, because the reality is that while you might get used to it, you’ll never be truly numb to the feeling of being unwanted. 

So if you can’t protect yourself from rejection, what can you do to lessen the sting? 

First, delete those rejection letters if you’re an overthinker like I am. Those are not the letters you should be rereading over and over again, wondering if there is something wrong with you. It’s easier said than done, but I always like to remind myself that a rejection is not the same as a personal attack. There are so many reasons why a place could reject you, and it’s most likely not anything about you as a person that made them run for the hills. 

Another reason to delete those letters is that I strongly advise against being driven by hate or spite. Some people say rejection pushes them to be better people. I disagree—I think fueling yourself with that sort of negative energy will eventually cause you to burn out. Become a better candidate by pushing yourself to become better because you want to be great, not to be petty and to prove someone – who likely isn’t paying attention –  you are capable of doing something. You don’t need to seek approval from anyone besides yourself. 

You’ll apply to a lot of places, submit a lot of work, and put yourself out there in ways you could have never imagined. Sometimes, knowing that you have gone farther today than yesterday is enough. Sometimes my desire for something is so strong I feel like my world will end if I don’t get it. I feel like I’ve failed if I don’t get the job, submit to that publication, get enough likes on my post. On those days, I like to remind myself of how far I’ve come, of how much I’ve grown in these few months alone. 

My favorite thing to do is pile all of my acceptance letters and surround myself with them like a warm blanket and cookies with milk on a cold Christmas evening. When times are low, I like to read through my acceptances to remind myself that I am worth a lot more than my silly brain likes to make me think. 

The truth is even as you become a bigger and better person, rejections don’t disappear. They just keep coming. But before you freak out – as I did, when I realized rejection was routine for freelancers – remember, while rejection might sting, it makes all the wins sweeter. 

Sure rejection can be a big blow to your self-esteem, but an acceptance letter dropping onto your doorstep one day might change the route of your life for the better. It’s a waiting game. You can’t know if you don’t try. So keep trying. Keep putting yourself out there, keep getting rejected, and keep your head up. 

Keep writing. Keep climbing. 

Legend has it there’s a treasure chest at the top.